dum-dumface

my youth

2007-04-23T15:39:00.000-07:00

mirror reflects my face in blurry light. that's a traditional east face. without brow, without ornament. it's cadaverous and tired pertaining to long time sleepless. and this is my youth. even though i am young, even though i am always laughing, even though i am amuck sometime, can not be hidden my desolate heart,which maybe has been corrupting . concretizing what i am feeling is impossible. so abstract,and floating around my thought of chaos. next month I gonna to cope my 21th birthday. this age is not belong to a child. it's belong to a man. now, I feel scared, scared for sophisticated society, scared for responsibilities... several years ago i was self-confident, i sensed whole world was full of hopes and opportunities, what I could get was unrestrained. whereas, right here, right this time, I'm just fuzzy by how can i put food on table several years later. it's absolutely ridiculous. i know barely what i mentioned be nibbling my youth...

lots boys and girls had my back nowdays have been pouring the position they belong to. i am merely spinning my ass on chair, while writing fucking literature to babble my hopeless and helpless. the day before yesterday i read a girl's blog told that she would earn 1 million before 2008. right that time i thought that's bullshit and hilarious. but now i am with all due respect, since i get that dream and fright is the kick-ass part of the life. that's righteous. and also, that's the maintaince of youth. so please, please make it coming into true.
neat, it's sack time. and i will fright.LOL. for my smiling face of relatives,lover and friend. of course, for my youth.

luxury present, ordinary love

2007-04-21T13:02:00.000-07:00

this week, my sweetie's present was sent form U.K. when I saw that

I found it did dazzling like my sweetie. maybe love can't be measured coin

or stuff, I sai my soul my life and all I have is yours,darling, what is so disgusting

and barren yet. in this moment, this is my only way to share my love you. The bag

is nothing compared by my love.

Gee I failed...

2007-04-21T00:37:00.000-07:00

what the hell PC programming cuorse is! do you believe that. it's unforgiveable that jumpy teacher give me 0 grade... even I pass the exam... please get load of that paper,dear sir... at begining I thought i could pass that fucking course gose without saying. whatas that stupid sir screws it up, what worse is next generation of students in our speciality gonna to move to the other town... code to if I want to re- learning I should go to that town by 30 mins bus next term...

crazy... what I gonna to do... as my chum said, reap as what one has sow....

debut

2007-04-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

as my point, blog just resemble a tool to waste time and self-energy. So you can think this time I am out of mind,since I got a blog. It's not represent I have a lot time and power to consume. I only feel my passion to languages ,besides English, need a channel to release. And this is not a bad way to deal that. hoooo... that's it.
Staying in this frigging clod country more or less 10 monthes. during that, I didn't find many blondie and sweet girls as I was imaging... I didn't find more opportunities neither in learning or work as I was imaging... merely lonely and missing is flying aroud the blue sky in a strange county. I'm wondering some many people, known or unknown, are shifting thier asses to abroad, casting away families and friends, the most prized possession in one's life. Maybe those things above in those people above just like gum, when it have been chawed no taste and it can throw into the dustbin without any mercy. what prefect people are... whenas I do not care and I disdain them round me. barely thing I will do is snapping and singing alone.
Cann't sleep before 4 or 5 am. for a long time,depending on music and visionary to tolerate the boundless nights. Drinking water one by one, smoking one by one. flooding all of life with chaos... and whole of that is seemingly last out for a long period. Jesus Christ, what the hell of life like this... madding....
whereas there is a good news, I will go back next month...hooooo...wait for me, my friend, my lover, my sweetie....